balance – Engaging Potential

25 Mar

Feeling tired? Overwhelmed at work?

We all know that when we are tired, it’s good to take a break. They say that ‘a break is as good as a holiday’!

I actually took a break from blog posting for a while. The break came when it was hard to devote the time to explore blog topics amongst other projects. I felt that a break might refresh the old leadership brain cells. So hello again friends! And thank you for your patience in my absence.

While I took the writing break, I continued with my coaching practice, supporting leaders across the globe in their various roles and industries. And in these discussions I am hearing many ‘burnt-out’ stories. People, it seems, are tired. Actually, they are EXHAUSTED!

Some people are leaving jobs they like because they can’t cope anymore. Some are taking extended breaks. Others are taking time off work altogether – ‘early retirement.’ Still others are choosing to stay and trudge on, even while feeling spent.

I’m concerned whenever a client has a period of exhaustion, or overwhelm. I am most concerned when they tell me they know what will help them reduce stress and overwhelm, yet somehow can’t find the time or motivation to take the action they desperately need. Because this often seems like an added burden when many of these people berate or blame themselves for not committing to taking a stance or making a change. So the spiral of negative thoughts, and sometimes feelings of helplessness escalates.

Take it from me, what I describe here is in no way isolated to a few people. It’s widespread. So if any of these descriptions sound like you then the first thing to say is – YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Sometimes even that knowledge in itself is helpful.

The next thing to say might be a bit harder to process…only YOU can make a change. Ouch! While your boss, your company, your colleague, your team might be able to help in several ways, they won’t necessarily make the first move, or take action. Sometimes when we are overwhelmed, we fall into the ‘blame game’. This is where we blame our boss, the pandemic, our employees for us feeling overwhelmed.

When we blame other people, we can forget that sometimes they don’t even know we are in danger of ‘burn out’. People don’t usually ignore our pain on purpose. At times they might know we are struggling, yet unable to know what assistance to offer.

When we blame circumstances such as the pandemic, or government restrictions, or change in organisational structure, we can get stuck in what many call ‘victim-thinking’. I see this as when we lay blame on things beyond our immediate influence, and then sit back assuming there is nothing we can do.

So…if you are felling burnt out or overwhelmed, what CAN you do?

Take a break
Gather your thoughts – be specific and honest
Identify options
Make a change

Take a break

Our brain is an energy hungry organ. The part of our brain that needs a lot of ‘feeding’ is our Pre Frontal Cortex. This area of the brain is responsible for our logical thinking, problem solving and decision making activities. To operate effectively, it needs fuel, especially glucose and oxygen. When we are tired or emotional, we are not able to give this thinking zone what it needs to be its best. Often our emotional brain centres are busy draining the energy supply when we are overwhelmed.

Before we can make any decision about what to do, we need to let our brain recharge. So please take a break! Some of you will be thinking that you can’t because…you are so busy. Well, if you don’t, then busy will consume you. And it will further deplete your brain’s resources. And on and on the spiral continues.

All you need is 5-10 minutes. Hey, if that’s too much, take 2 minutes. What about 2 minutes now to get outside, have a cup of tea, walk down the hall way, take a nap, play with the dog, listen to music?

Regular breaks help your brain. And by doing so, they enhance your ability to problem solve. And in some respects, overwhelm at work is another problem to solve. Breaks also help us be more focussed when we get back to tasks. This can mean better productivity to get through the work.

One thing I sometimes see with those in a state of overwhelm, is that they spend so much time feeling overwhelmed and thinking about how tired they are, that they have no focus to achieve goals.

If you need more information on how breaks help your brain, then check out Psychology Today where they have a good article that goes into more detail. And of course, if the overwhelm has progressed to a state of depression, severe lethargy, or anxiety, then please do see a trained professional. If truly ‘burnt-out’ then recovery may start with some additional psychological or medical assistance.

Gather your thoughts

This step is important. So, take a nice slow deep breath and answer these questions:

What specifically do you believe is driving your sense of overwhelm? The key here is to be as specific as possible. Rather than saying “I don’t have enough time in the day”, think exactly about the main cause. For example, it might be that you have 5 projects with the same deadline and the work required for each project would result in a 100 hour week to achieve the requirements. Or, it might be that your manager gives you tasks to do at short notice, and you are finding it hard to fit them amongst the more longer term projects.
Is there anything that you are doing/not doing that might be adding to the issue? This is where we must be honest with ourselves. For example, does procrastination factor in? Do you spend excess time chatting to colleagues? (I’m not saying chatting is a bad thing!) Do you put off discussing your challenges with your boss? Do you struggle to negotiate different deadlines with colleagues? Do you say ‘yes’ to work that isn’t in your role, or that you know will overload you?
Of the causes and issues above, which are you able to influence?
How committed are you to resolving the overwhelm?

Identify options

Now that we have an outline of the specific issues, it’s time to think about possible solutions. I suggest a blank piece of paper and list as many possible solutions that come to your mind in 3-5 minutes. Try not to limit your brainstorming with ‘that’s silly’, ‘that won’t work’. Just start by listing ideas, no matter how realistic or workable they might be.

Once you have the options to reduce your overwhelm, go back over them and highlight those that sound reasonable, achievable, or worth exploring further.

Then identify the one that you think would be the best to start with. It might be ‘best’ because it’s a quick win to get you motivated. It might be best because it will reduce your workload the most. It might be best because it involves the whole team. Whatever the reason it is best, simply choose.

Now identify 3 more options that are ‘next best’.

For the chosen options, what is the first step in making them happen?

Make a change

Now comes the opportunity to take action! Using your options above, starting with the ‘best’, begin to implement them. This may take planning and courage if the option involves a difficult conversation. Or it may be an option that puts you outside your comfort zone. Making change and taking action is not always easy. Yet what if taking this step actually helps?

Time for a deep breath and a dose of self-courage. Even small changes, like implementing regular breaks, or sticking to a set ‘finish’ time can be enough to shift the balance so you can reduce the overwhelm.

The truth is, life can be busy, work can be complex and hectic. And all of us have the same number of limited hours in the day. So taking action and making change will definitely need to start with you. It may not solve everything, yet you do need to start somewhere.

These steps are only starting points, and I get that sometimes we can all do with extra help and planning. If you would like some support to address the work overwhelm, then I am available for professional coaching! Just contact me to find out more.

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

16 Feb

Feeling the Feb Fade?

Small Cute Pet Chihuahua Having A Sleep

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

Feb (as in February) Fade – not a technical term! It’s what happens when we are just over one month into the year and one or more of the following thoughts occur:

“The holiday season feels like it was ages ago. I’m tired!”
“The year is flying by – where did January go?”
“Oh my goodness, I’ve fallen back into the drudgery – where did my enthusiasm go?”
“When’s the next public holiday?”
“Another year, same-same happening…yawn…”
“Oh yeah, New Year’s Resolutions…fail!”

‘Feb Fade’ does not happen to everyone, yet on anecdotal evidence, it is relatively common. In coaching and training sessions, we find many people who were refreshed from holidays early January and inspired for the year ahead, are slowing down and missing that motivational buzz come February. They’ve often arrived back at work to a mountain of work they’d forgotten about, tasks put off from last year, or projects being given by their boss who has just realised that the year is slipping away and there are things to achieve!

The priorities of a new year at work, the possibility that those New Year’s Resolutions have been harder to stick to than first thought, and the prospect of many weeks or months until the next holiday, can all take their toll on motivation.

While there is not a magic cure-all for Feb Fade, here are a few tips to help turn Feb Fade into Motivated March…

Take a pen and notebook (or mobile device) to your favourite accessible relaxation zone – it might be outside, a comfy lounge chair, or a cafe. Allow yourself 10 minutes to answer this question…“What would make this a great year?” Once you’ve done that, now ask yourself…“What do I need to do to make this happen?” It’s simple self-reflection, yet we generally don’t do it. How can we be motivated if we don’t know where we want to go/what we want to achieve?
Prioritise – whether work or home tasks – “What are the 5 things that need doing before the end of February?” and “What makes these tasks priorities for me?” Just taking time to identify these will often spark us out of procrastination.
Find room/time for exercise – your body and your brain. To motivate yourself out of Feb Fade, you MUST find the time to engage in physical and mental exercise. Find something that works for your abilities, commitments and enjoyment. Walking, doing Sudoku or a crossword, playing tennis, playing chess, going for a jog…You know what works for you better than anyone. Don’t overdo it, make sure you are checked by health professionals if that is warranted and then get started.
Plan something special. Like exercise, time-out is a critical and often neglected facet of our lives. Having something to look forward to often helps motivate us in other life/work areas. Plan a holiday, a short break away, a dinner party, a night out – whatever it is that you’ve been putting off because of work or other commitments!
Take a 5 minute break. All the latest research shows that we are least productive if we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed and drowned by all the ‘stuff’ to do. So make sure you get some fresh air, walk around the office or just get out of your chair regularly throughout the day. You’ll be amazed at how this will refresh you for greater productivity.

These ideas are not new and no doubt you would have heard them all before, we are sure! Sometimes it just takes a little reminder and gentle push into action… Only you can do something about Feb Fade… what will you do?

Here’s to Fabulous Feb!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

03 Oct

Balance and leadership

“…being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t be considered truly successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.” – Zig Ziglar

When coaching new and experienced managers, we have noticed a trend towards ‘burn-out’ and ‘over-load’ being discussed as serious issues in the workplace. Many people being coached are feeling ‘overloaded’, with some also expressing concern for their direct reports. It is concerning to hear these managers talk about the long hours they work, the weekends lost to emails and reports and the subsequent strain experienced by their families.

Sadly, there is no easy answer to this problem. Businesses are being pushed to reduce costs and raise productivity, and the resulting restructures, budget cuts and redundancies means that people often find themselves with more work and less resources. To cope, employees are working longer, and often experiencing feelings of resentment, frustration and even anger for doing so. Many find that they strive to do a good job, yet are left thinking that they are never quite doing anything well, rather doing lots of things poorly. For the high achievers, this can be a major issue!

So if there is no easy answer, where do we start?

We must remind businesses and employees of the benefits of balance. In his book ‘The four principles of values-based leadership”, Harry Kraemer talks about the importance of balance from several perspectives. One such perspective is ‘life balance’ and “…the importance of diverse activities and experiences that keep you fresh, engaged and motivated.” Remember, if we focus only on work, our brains are not stretched or refreshed. How can we expect to be innovative, productive and positive if our brains are not working properly? How can we expect to solve problems and overcome challenges if we are feeling burnt-out? How can we as managers engage positively to motivate our teams if we are feeling resentful of the work piling up?

As leaders, we must be disciplined to get the balance right. It’s no good for us to tell our people to prioritise or leave work on time if we are not practicing what we preach. We must lead by example. It will take self-awareness, discipline and courage, yet what is the alternative? Some people seem to think that if they complain about the workload long enough or if they talk about the hours they work loud enough, that someone will make it all OK. This will never happen and we so often see managers spiraling on this until they spin out of control – they might yell at their staff, quit their job, or worse still suffer mental exhaustion and breakdown.

When we talk about balance, it’s not just about leaving work on time or turning off the laptop over the weekend. It’s about replacing these behaviours with balanced behaviours; it’s about exploring opportunities and experiences outside of the workplace. This might include reconnecting with something you enjoyed when you were younger, experiencing a loved activity with your family, or even stepping outside of your comfort zone with a new course or hobby.

If you do regain some balance, there is no doubt you will start to see benefits – feeling refreshed, focusing better at work, maintaining and growing positive relationships – the list goes on. [An aside: To be honest, when many feel overloaded at work, it is commonly exacerbated by procrastination – such as talking about how busy they are, spending hours writing to do lists (don’t get us wrong, to do lists are critical, yet they can be overdone!) or worrying about what there is to do. This post is not about time management, yet learning about some time management disciplines will help many to get the balance back.)

We all know the saying “Life is short.” well, it is. Imagine yourself at 80 – go on, visualise it! Can you see the wrinkles, the grey hair…? Now imagine yourself looking back at your life. Think not just about work, think about your LIFE. Will you be happy at 80 if you can say “Yep, I worked myself raggard and had no time for anything else…”?

What do you want to be most proud of?
What do you want to have experienced?
What do you want to be able to reflect on at 80?

Now, once you’ve thought those things through with your 80-year old self, consider the following:

What are 3 – 5 things you can do to take back control now and get a better life balance?
How will you hold yourself accountable when you neglect or forget the above actions?
Who can help you achieve these actions?
When are you going to start?

When you are determining actions, consider those that you can apply at work and even more importantly at home. At work you might need to reprioritise your work, talk to your boss about deadlines or aim to finish on time 3 days of the week. On the personal side, you might want to commit to learning a new language, play football once a week, take up meditation or join a book club. Whatever the actions are that work for you – the key is to be disciplined, monitor your commitment and reassess in a month or so. Once you are able to gain better balance, consider how you might help your team members do the same. But until you start with yourself and lead by example, you and your team will be left spinning on the ‘work harder and longer’ merry-go-round.

Here’s to a balanced life!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!