25 Mar

Feeling tired? Overwhelmed at work?

We all know that when we are tired, it’s good to take a break. They say that ‘a break is as good as a holiday’!

I actually took a break from blog posting for a while. The break came when it was hard to devote the time to explore blog topics amongst other projects. I felt that a break might refresh the old leadership brain cells. So hello again friends! And thank you for your patience in my absence.

While I took the writing break, I continued with my coaching practice, supporting leaders across the globe in their various roles and industries. And in these discussions I am hearing many ‘burnt-out’ stories. People, it seems, are tired. Actually, they are EXHAUSTED!

Some people are leaving jobs they like because they can’t cope anymore. Some are taking extended breaks. Others are taking time off work altogether – ‘early retirement.’ Still others are choosing to stay and trudge on, even while feeling spent.

I’m concerned whenever a client has a period of exhaustion, or overwhelm. I am most concerned when they tell me they know what will help them reduce stress and  overwhelm, yet somehow can’t find the time or motivation to take the action they desperately need. Because this often seems like an added burden when many of these people berate or blame themselves for not committing to taking a stance or making a change. So the spiral of negative thoughts, and sometimes feelings of helplessness escalates.

Take it from me, what I describe here is in no way isolated to a few people. It’s widespread. So if any of these descriptions sound like you then the first thing to say is – YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Sometimes even that knowledge in itself is helpful.

The next thing to say might be a bit harder to process…only YOU can make a change. Ouch! While your boss, your company, your colleague, your team might be able to help in several ways, they won’t necessarily make the first move, or take action. Sometimes when we are overwhelmed, we fall into the ‘blame game’. This is where we blame our boss, the pandemic, our employees for us feeling overwhelmed.

When we blame other people, we can forget that sometimes they don’t even know we are in danger of ‘burn out’. People don’t usually ignore our pain on purpose. At times they might know we are struggling, yet unable to know what assistance to offer.

When we blame circumstances such as the pandemic, or government restrictions, or change in organisational structure, we can get stuck in what many call ‘victim-thinking’. I see this as when we lay blame on things beyond our immediate influence, and then sit back assuming there is nothing we can do.

So…if you are felling burnt out or overwhelmed, what CAN you do?

  1. Take a break
  2. Gather your thoughts – be specific and honest
  3. Identify options
  4. Make a change

Take a break

Our brain is an energy hungry organ. The part of our brain that needs a lot of ‘feeding’ is our Pre Frontal Cortex. This area of the brain is responsible for our logical thinking, problem solving and decision making activities. To operate effectively, it needs fuel, especially glucose and oxygen. When we are tired or emotional, we are not able to give this thinking zone what it needs to be its best. Often our emotional brain centres are busy draining the energy supply when we are overwhelmed.

Before we can make any decision about what to do, we need to let our brain recharge. So please take a break! Some of you will be thinking that you can’t because…you are so busy. Well, if you don’t, then busy will consume you. And it will further deplete your brain’s resources. And on and on the spiral continues.

All you need is 5-10 minutes. Hey, if that’s too much, take 2 minutes. What about 2 minutes now to get outside, have a cup of tea, walk down the hall way, take a nap, play with the dog, listen to music?

Regular breaks help your brain. And by doing so, they enhance your ability to problem solve. And in some respects, overwhelm at work is another problem to solve. Breaks also help us be more focussed when we get back to tasks. This can mean better productivity to get through the work.

One thing I sometimes see with those in a state of overwhelm, is that they spend so much time feeling overwhelmed and thinking about how tired they are, that they have no focus to achieve goals.

If you need more information on how breaks help your brain, then check out Psychology Today where they have a good article that goes into more detail. And of course, if the overwhelm has progressed to a state of depression, severe lethargy, or anxiety, then please do see a trained professional. If truly ‘burnt-out’ then recovery may start with some additional psychological or medical assistance.

Gather your thoughts

This step is important. So, take a nice slow deep breath and answer these questions:

  • What specifically do you believe is driving your sense of overwhelm? The key here is to be as specific as possible. Rather than saying “I don’t have enough time in the day”, think exactly about the main cause. For example, it might be that you have 5 projects with the same deadline and the work required for each project would result in a 100 hour week to achieve the requirements. Or, it might be that your manager gives you tasks to do at short notice, and you are finding it hard to fit them amongst the more longer term projects.
  • Is there anything that you are doing/not doing that might be adding to the issue? This is where we must be honest with ourselves. For example, does procrastination factor in? Do you spend excess time chatting to colleagues? (I’m not saying chatting is a bad thing!) Do you put off discussing your challenges with your boss? Do you struggle to negotiate different deadlines with colleagues? Do you say ‘yes’ to work that isn’t in your role, or that you know will overload you?
  • Of the causes and issues above, which are you able to influence?
  • How committed are you to resolving the overwhelm?

Identify options

Now that we have an outline of the specific issues, it’s time to think about possible solutions. I suggest a blank piece of paper and list as many possible solutions that come to your mind in 3-5 minutes. Try not to limit your brainstorming with ‘that’s silly’, ‘that won’t work’. Just start by listing ideas, no matter how realistic or workable they might be.

Once you have the options to reduce your overwhelm, go back over them and highlight those that sound reasonable, achievable, or worth exploring further.

Then identify the one that you think would be the best to start with. It might be ‘best’ because it’s a quick win to get you motivated. It might be best because it will reduce your workload the most. It might be best because it involves the whole team. Whatever the reason it is best, simply choose.

Now identify 3 more options that are ‘next best’.

For the chosen options, what is the first step in making them happen?

Make a change

Now comes the opportunity to take action! Using your options above, starting with the ‘best’, begin to implement them. This may take planning and courage if the option involves a difficult conversation. Or it may be an option that puts you outside your comfort zone. Making change and taking action is not always easy. Yet what if taking this step actually helps?

Time for a deep breath and a dose of self-courage. Even small changes, like implementing regular breaks, or sticking to a set ‘finish’ time can be enough to shift the balance so you can reduce the overwhelm.

The truth is, life can be busy, work can be complex and hectic. And all of us have the same number of limited hours in the day. So taking action and making change will definitely need to start with you. It may not solve everything, yet you do need to start somewhere.

These steps are only starting points, and I get that sometimes we can all do with extra help and planning. If you would like some support to address the work overwhelm, then I am available for professional coaching! Just contact me to find out more.

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

02 Mar

Are people skills still relevant?

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.” Ralph Nichols

We’ve all seen articles about technology. How fast advances are happening, how new innovations will help us in our daily lives. We hear the stories of amazing robotic achievements, advances in technology making life easier and even sometimes saving lives!

So with the focus on things like Artificial Intelligence (AI), Augmented Reality (AR), Machine Learning (ML) amongst other new acronyms on the radar…are people skills still relevant?

The importance of people skills

Most experts agree…people skills are essential workplace skills – now and especially in the future. Because technology can not successfully and totally replace people.

Empathy, collaboration, communication, innovation, problem solving, leadership…people skills.

So now more than ever it’s important to develop our people skills. Especially in organisations where team performance is critical for success. The skills of a team to communicate effectively, make joint decisions and act quickly are still important to ensuring results. The ability of workers – no matter what their role – to listen, demonstrate empathy, and ask great questions is still fundamental in delivering great customer service, as well as effective team collaboration.

A powerful people skill we all need in teams!

A skill that is essential in teams, is the ability to navigate tough discussions for a positive outcome. Yet so many managers I talk to dread or dislike these situations. Many actively avoid having the discussions that are most needed.

Tough discussions, difficult conversations – they are hard. Because emotions and important topics are involved. The stakes are high, and the emotions are high for each person involved.

To fine tune our people skills, we need to start talking about threat states and psychological safety. I believe that these aspects will become increasingly important for teams, as the pace of technological advances, global challenges, and population growth continues to impact.

Difficult conversations will always be in the workplace. Change and complexity will only make them more important, and potentially more frequent.

Frontline managers in particular need to be equipped to understand the complexities of human interactions, and how they can impact their team’s culture and performance through their people skills. The ability to have productive conversations around difficult topics is an essential people skill.

The old way of managing – the authoritarian approach, some would call it – is not successful as it once might have been. And it won’t make tough discussions easier, that’s for sure!

People skills. Always relevant, and perhaps now, more so than ever.

What do you think?

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

21 Nov

Finishing the year on a positive!

 

 

“Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.”

Chris Grosser

 

Can you believe it’s almost the end of the year?!  At this time of year most of us are wondering where the months have gone, and feeling a bit tired as we wind toward year end.

So how do we maintain momentum, gain energy and ensure we finish the year celebrating our successes? And where we lead others, how can we help them be motivated and productive as the rest of the year advances?

Looking back…

Let’s give ourselves firstly some time to think about what has been. Remember January 1 this year? All those plans, resolutions and goals? All those good intentions and positive vibes?

Take yourself back there and review – what have you achieved that you set out to? Celebrate that! If you have achieved things that weren’t even on that January list – celebrate that too! Take a moment to consider what you are proud of this year. This is important. People are motivated by many things. One of them is progress – moving forward, achieving, taking a step.  The sense of making progress is important to people’s energy levels and ongoing productivity. So without stopping and talking stock of what we have achieved, how will we maximize our sense of achievement?

Humans are funny – we tend to focus on the negative – what we haven’t done, what we are not good at, who doesn’t like us.! Let’s flip this on its head and look at what we HAVE achieved (and while we are at it – what we are good at and who does like us!)

So what are you proud of this year? What achievements have you made, no matter how big or small? Write them down. Now go have a coffee, or a walk, do something to celebrate. A dance in the office is fine. Acknowledge it with something you enjoy. Because too often we don’t do this. And what’s the point of achieving if we ignore it and just move on to the next thing? Life is full of thinking about ‘the NEXT thing’. Busy, busy, busy. Slow down, be proud, celebrate!

Looking forward…

Now we’ve partied with our progress, let’s reflect on January 1 next year. Take yourself there. If you like to party, imagine the party. If you like to bring in the new year quietly, imagine the best possible place you could be. In both cases, who are you with? Family, friends, pets? Or maybe it’s a glass of wine and a good book. Imagine your perfect 31 Dec into Jan 1.

Now in this perfect zone, think about what you will look back on from the last  months of the year. What do you want to be celebrating? What progress will you toast? What achievements will you be proud of? Imagine your quiet or noisy celebration – which ever you prefer. Do it with a smile on your face. Paint a vivid and visual memory of all you’ve achieved.

Now get out that piece of paper again. Answer these questions:

  • What will you achieve before year end?
  • What habit do you need to break to ensure you achieve success?
  • What will give you energy, when commitment falters?

How did you go? Could you answer these questions? I’d suggest reviewing them weekly or daily. If you are determined to have that proud memory on Jan 1, you will commit.

What about your team?

Now, let’s think about your team. Are they slowing down toward the end of the year? Could they do with an energy boost or a momentum push?

Perhaps you cold do the above exercises – looking back to celebrate and looking forward to achieve – with them.

Here are some other suggestions that I have for helping the team focus.

  • Have a weekly celebration of achievements as a team – whether talking about them in a regular team meeting, or sending an email, making a video or sharing over coffee.
  • Ensure that the team have time together to build team morale and energy. Weekly or fortnightly meetings are great for this.
  • Maybe the team is a social one and like coffee or lunch together? You know your team the best – how can you ensure this informal bonding occurs?
  • Find or have the team find a shared project that they can work on outside of their daily tasks. Something that is not too time consuming, yet is exciting for them. Not any random thing – something that relates to the work they do. Maybe your team is passionate about improving the physical workspace – let them plan and change it. Maybe they want to raise money for a good cause, solve an operational matter that’s been bugging them for a while, start a lunchtime walking group? Whatever it is, allow some freedom and creativity to refresh their minds.
  • Bring in an interesting speaker for a lunchtime or breakfast discussion. It could be a patient, a local business person, a trainer, someone from another team. Keep it short and informal. Ask the team afterwards what they learnt and how they can apply that to their own work. T
  • Have a half day meeting determining the priorities for the team to achieve before the end of the year. Plan out together what’s important, what needs to happen and key milestones. Give everyone responsibility for a part of the plan, and review it regularly (again, celebrate efforts and even small achievements).
  • Hold a competition and have some fun with it. Who excelled at customer service this week? Who learnt a new skill, tackled a challenge or achieved a milestone? Give small prizes if you can, definitely acknowledgement.

There are a few ideas for you to help support your team’s energy for the lead up to the year end. What will you do?

Here’s to a positive and productive year end!

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

05 Sep

5 change management strategies

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

 

One of the most common topics I get asked to train and present on is change.  That’s because leading change is one of the biggest challenges for organisations and managers today.  And it’s relentless – whether through government policy, technology, legal issues or business needs, it seems to be a constant part of our management lives.

If it’s so prevalent and relentless, then to succeed as managers, it’s critical to be developing our change leadership skills.

How to deal with change resistance?

So let’s take a look at overcoming change resistance. This is when we find that the team are not complying or implementing what we’ve told them to do to get the change underway. It seems so obvious to us – so important – and yet they linger, they hesitate, and sometimes blatantly refuse to do as we ask.

Below are 5 areas we can start to improve for better change leadership.

Five change management and leadership strategies

  1. Start right, plan right
  2. Get the team onboard EARLY
  3. Communicate, Coach, Communicate (and repeat)
  4. Create a safe environment
  5. Actively use milestones and measures

 

  1. Start right, plan right

Planning is important. It makes the pathway clearer, assigns responsibilities, and predicts challenges. It guides us.

Key things we want to be planning with change are:

  • Vision for success. What does it look like when we have implemented the change? What are the end benefits or outcomes? Even if the change has been brought on by a higher power, we still need this or we will fail.
  • Pathway to success. How we are going to achieve our vision? What are the steps involved, the resources needed, the staff training required? What’s our communication plan? What are our timeframes? What roles and responsibilities are involved? What’s our feedback loop?
  • Assess ourselves and plan accordingly. I always recommend teams do a SWOT analysis before major change.  A SWOT analysis is looking at your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Strengths and Weaknesses tend to be internal and current. Opportunities and Threats tend to be external forces and usually are future related. Once you’ve done the analysis, you must discuss how you will leverage strengths, minimise weaknesses, capitalise on opportunities and eliminate threats. What actions will you take? This will also help inform your Pathway to success.


  1. Get the team onboard EARLY

Often with change, the managers discuss it for a while, mull it over, hopefully plan and then BAM, hit the team with it. It’s all sorted, ready to go. Now implement!

Well, this rarely works. Especially if we’ve had a lot of time to plan or think about the change as managers, we sometimes assume that because we understand it, and have a great strategy, that the team will instantly ‘get it’ and get on board. People as a whole are geared to resist change. It takes time to process the change and it’s not going to happen just because we say so. And it certainly won’t happen by just telling people what to do, and telling them once.

We need to allow people time to process information. And, as much as we can we need to INVOLVE, not dictate.

Real change is influence, not force.

We influence by connecting, communicating, coaching, involving.

  • Pre-empt that change is coming. (if appropriate). Try not to get people worried – be calm, paint a positive picture, assure them that they will be involved along the way, encourage them to come to you if they have questions.
  • Ask for the team’s input as much as you can. Once people start to input ideas, they feel like they have a say in what’s going on, that they have some choice, and that they are in some way taking ownership. People need to start to OWN the change. They start to own it when they start to talk about it – in a solutions focused way. Encourage input – “What do you think we need to keep in mind as we plan for this?” “Who needs to be involved in our planning team?” “What challenges do you think we need to cater for?” If you can’t include all their ideas, that’s fine, explain that from the start.
  • Have regular team meetings and ask for their thoughts, ask how they are feeling. Discuss progress – celebrate success, plan for challenges and identify solutions where issues occur.

  1. Communicate, coach, communicate (and repeat!)

We cannot understate the role communication will play in the success or failure of our change initiatives.

If people are fearful of change, or overwhelmed at work, they won’t hear about all of what you explain about the change. There is interference – from their own thoughts “I hate change” “Change is bad”, “Management are stupid.”, “I don’t have time for this.” Also interference from the way you deliver the message and how they like to receive information (written, verbal, visual, demonstration).

  • Have a communications plan. What will we communicate, when, to whom, and through which method? When will we repeat it and how?
  • Make your messages clear and concise. Balance your need to give lots of information, with their ability to process. Often, less is more.
  • Deliver messages through varied mediums, and try to include visuals. Mediums include presentation, workshop, posters, meetings, videos…
  • Repeat your messages.

The other part to this is coaching.

For change to work, you MUST be coaching.

At the core of successful coaching are great questions. So get curious! “What do you think we should do?” What is the first step you will take here?” How do you think we can address this issue?” “Who do we need to get involved in this?” “What are the issues from a patient’s perspective?” “What haven’t we covered?” “How do you feel this change is progressing?” And so on. Please coach.

  1. Create a safe environment.

Change often induces fear – whether people consciously recognise this or not. It feels uncertain, so it feels unsafe. Safety in the workplace is a normal thing to discuss. Yet we often don’t think about it for our team’s emotional safety. We often don’t realise that we in so many ways can make them feel unsafe – by talking harshly, by not sharing important information, by not thanking them for a job well done, by not assuring them we are in this change together, by telling them what to do without giving them some choice.

  • Encourage an environment that is open and honest.
  • Show empathy for how people might be feeling.
  • Support without judgement.
  • Celebrate progress, even before you see results.

 

  1. Actively use milestones and measures

We need to have milestones and measures planned from the start. Milestones are the key points during the change process (remember most changes take time). So it’s the steps needed or the critical timeframes that must be achieved.

  • Map milestones out from the start, communicate what they are to your team and provide timeframes.
  • Identify how you will measure success, the targets required and consequences of not achieving results.
  • Measure the things that are important for change success, not trivial things.
  • Track and communicate regularly, even f things aren’t going well! Involve the team in finding solutions to challenges.

These 5 change strategies won’t solve every issue you have, yet they are a good starting point in supporting the team. Remember, you need your team to get on board and your role as manager and leader is to help them do so.

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

02 Aug

“I get it, so why don’t they?” A change challenge.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

 

 

Do you know that saying…”the more things change, the more they stay the same”? Ain’t that the truth?!

Implementing change can be challenging. And one of the biggest challenges is when our teams don’t seem to take action.

As leaders, we play a role in our teams not taking action.
Believe it or not, we as leaders play a part in our teams not ‘getting’ or understanding the change enough to take action.

Fairly recently, I had a question posed to me by a manager. In its essence, this was her question –  “This change we are implementing makes a lot of sense. I get the importance of it and I can see the benefits. Why then, don’t my team get it?”

This is a really common occurrence. Over the years, I have also seen this time and time again – managers, team leaders, senior executives, business owners – puzzled by the fact that the team just doesn’t seem to understand the importance of the change enough to implement what’s required.

There are many reasons people may resist, or appear to be resisting, change; many reasons why they may apparently not ‘get’ or understand the change. We believe that it is obvious, and that they should be racing ahead with the actions needed.

Without diving in here as to the reasons behind change resistance, suffice to say – some of the reasons come from our team, yet we also take responsibility.

Is our closeness to the change an issue?

If we are really close to the decisions around change – including implementation decisions – then we are really close to the rationale, the problem, and the solution needed. We may even have been working on the change discussions and preparations for months.

So we occasionally forget that our teams may not have been this close to the process, or if they were, it may only have been a small part in their daily responsibilities, or perhaps they are not that interested in the problem being solved – the point is, they are generally not as engrossed in the change lead-up as we are.

So when it comes to communicating – because we understand it, and because we want to move forward with the change quickly – we may assume that the team will be as across it as we are. And as anxious to get started.

When this happens, we may communicate poorly – either too much or too little information – we may think saying it once is enough…and we can tend to get a little impatient.

So, what do we need to remember as leaders of change?

There’s a lot to this, yet distilling it into 3 bullet points, related to our original question – “I get it, so why don’t they?” We suggest:

  1. Communicate clearly. Generally speaking, most change leaders overload with information. So ‘less is more’ is a good rule of thumb to begin the discussions.
  2. Communicate often. It may take several times, and being delivered in several ways, for your message to be understood, processed and actioned. Some people want to hear it, some want to see it, some want time to think it through, or discuss it. We all have difference preferences as to how we like to receive and process important information. What most of us have in common, is that in our busy lives we usually will want or need, to have the message a few times for it to take on meaning and inspire action.
  3. Be patient. Try to remember that most people have reasons for being slow to implement change. We may not think they are good reasons to slow things down, yet without inspiring our team to action, we will be running the race alone. We need to own what we can own and be patient as we bring others along.

3 points to remember and help you lead change. It’s not rocket science; it is human-science!

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

10 Jul

Can we make difficult conversations a little less difficult?

“The problem is not the content of your message, but the condition of the conversation.”

Crucial Conversations Paterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler

Our brain has been wired across the ages to protect us as individuals – it looks out for threats and aims to keep us safe. That works beautifully if we are in physical danger – if there is a fire for instance. It can work a little less effectively when we are having a discussion with someone and your brain goes on high alert – this can lead to emotional outbursts, sullenness or physical reactions.

We’ve all experienced conversations where we have felt threatened or ‘unsafe’. Sometimes it is an overt verbal attack that sets us on edge and sometimes it is a subtle comment, such as a criticism of our work. Many times the feeling of being in danger comes not from words, rather from someone’s non verbal actions – such as a raised eyebrow, a sarcastic smile, a threatening stance.

Once our brains detect a threat, the body prepares itself to flee, fight or freeze. As such, energy resources are diverted to areas of the body that are required to act in survival mode. That means that when we feel threatened, we may be approaching a difficult conversation with very little reserves left for rational thought and effective decision-making.

Complexity is added to our dwindling logical thinking ability if we are already under pressure (e.g. if we have to respond unexpectedly and spontaneously; or if we have other stressful issues impacting us) or we are uncertain (e.g. we haven’t dealt with this before).

What’s a manager or leader’s role in this?

As a manager and leader, if you want to get the best out of an interaction with another person, you need to consider the environment that you are creating. Do you make it safe?

Some of you may be thinking “Why do I need to make it safe when I might be correcting someone’s mistakes or poor performance?

Simply put, if you have the intent of supporting their improvement and enhancing their ability to achieve into the future, you will need to create an environment in which they can truly HEAR and UNDERSTAND your message. People are not so great at hearing things when their body and mind feels threatened – they are simply using their energy to ‘survive’ – by withdrawing, making excuses, redirecting blame, or fighting back.

How do you then, make it safe for someone? You obviously can’t control the way their mind works or their actions. All you can do is influence through your own behaviours and words.

How can managers and leaders help create a ‘safe’ environment?

Some ways to create a safe environment for others include:

  • Start with positive intent – what are you truly trying to achieve here and is it well intentioned? Does the outcome  you seek have benefit for all parties?
  • Plan well – do you know what outcome you are looking for? What should you say or do to achieve that outcome?
  • Determine where and when – ensure this is appropriate to the discussion
  • Frame it -provide context for the discussion and what you are trying to achieve
  • Reduce the personal – ensure this is not a discussion of accusation – for example, rather than “you did..” try “I’m concerned…
  • Allow space – seek input from the other person and allow space for them to process and understand what you are saying;
  • Breathe – remain calm, even if the other person is unsettled or emotive; if you mirror negative emotions, the situation will only deteriorate

Human interactions can seem fraught with danger. What will you do to make it safe for others and have productive discussions, even when the content is difficult?

engagingPOTENTIAL: facilitation, training, coaching, team development

Helping managers create extraordinary teams!

12 May

Mirror, mirror…

Remember the magic mirror in the Snow White fairy tale? Remember how it couldn’t lie?

Mirrors don’t tend to lie.

If we held up a ‘leadership mirror’ in front of you, what would we see? If we held it up to show your team or those you lead, what would we see?

Today we are reflecting on (pun intended!) the mirroring effect of leaders on their followers.

Firstly, what do I mean when I say ‘leader’? A leader in my experience is anyone who is in a position (be it a formal role, or as an informal connection) to influence others to engage in a shared purpose, vision or goal.

Now, we talk about leadership generally as being a positive thing, yet strictly speaking, leaders can have a negative impact – that is, they can influence for negative reasons, lead others toward detrimental goals – there are leaders who use their leadership for bad, rather than good.

At Engaging Potential, we are focusing on the attributes, skills and behaviour of good leaders – striving to be a leader with a positive impact on those around you; striving to be a force for good; striving to meet clearly positive outcomes.

In the workplace, we might be seen as leaders because we manage people or we might be seen as leaders because we have the ability to connect with others and influence action.

Whether your potential to lead is a result of a formal hierarchy, or as an informal influencer, what type of leader are you?

How would you describe your leadership style? (honestly)?

How would others describe your leadership?

You have influence and impact on those around you.

As a leader, you have the ability to create a mirror effect on those around you. Because you have influence, people are wired biologically to monitor your actions, words and attitudes. Whether consciously or non-consciously, those around you are attuned to you and will be influenced by your verbal and non verbal cues. This will often result in them (again consciously, or more often non-consciously) mirroring your actions, words and attitudes.

For example, have you ever been in the situation where your boss – be it a practice principal, a practice manager, or an executive – comes to work clearly in a negative mood, and you find yourself and others become more negative, or in a bad mood as the day goes on? Does this sometimes have an impact on the way you and others deal with patients or clients (perhaps a little less tolerant, for instance)? I call this the ripple effect – the impact a leader has when they – figuratively speaking – drop a mood pebble in the water and it flows out and out.

Of course, the opposite is true as well – when your boss, or an influencer – is inspired, excited or positive. This will ripple out as well.

What type of ripple do you want to create?

If we as leaders are negative, constantly look for the downside and find fault in the smallest of details, then some of our team will be on alert or feel threat (consciously or non-consciously) and in turn may exhibit negative behaviour or comments. And so the ripple starts.

If we as leaders see opportunity in challenges, acknowledge positive efforts and results, provide considered and relevant feedback – even when it’s constructive feedback – and help people feel valued and safe in their interactions with us; then they are less likely to feel under threat and more likely to respond with positive comments, a solutions-focus, and productive attitude. And so the ripple starts.

Humans are designed to read or understand others – they are designed to connect and interact.

Those we interact with – be they team members, colleagues, patients, clients, family, strangers or friends – are intuitively reading your actions and words, no matter how subtle.

If we have influence with these people – through hierarchy, position or relationship – they may very well be followers of our behaviours. And as followers, they may mirror our behaviours.

Would you be proud of the behaviours others see and mirror from you?

The key message here:

  • As a leader, you can influence the behaviours of others through your own actions.
  • Those around you may be influenced (consciously or non-consciously) by what you portray.
  • Others may mirror your behaviours and attitudes, leading to a ripple effect with those they deal with.

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, facilitation

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

28 Feb

Who’s the imposter?

Cyber Crime Eye

“It is because we are all imposters that we endure each other.” – Emil Cioran

Imposter syndrome – what is it? The term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ was first used by two clinical psychologists – Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. They used it to refer to apparently successful people who are convinced that they do not deserve the success that they have. While technically this ‘syndrome’ is not an actual clinical disorder, the effects can be quite significant.

John Steinbeck – famous American author; the man responsible for ‘Of Mice and Men’ and ‘Grapes of Wrath’ – once wrote “I’m not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people.”

People with Imposter Syndrome are anxious that they will be discovered as a ‘fraud’ – that someone will ‘out them’ as an unqualified, inexperienced fake, who does not deserve to be in the role that they have. When someone is feeling this way, they will often downplay their apparent success. Their internal dialogue might sound like: “No one else must have applied for this job”, “What will happen when they realise I can’t do this?”, “Someone is going to find fault in this presentation!”.

The inner narrative downplays success, questions abilities, and predicts failure.

Emma Watson – actress, model and UN ambassador – she seems to have it together – yes? Well, in a 2015 Vogue magazine article, she spoke of feeling uncomfortable about her acting success, and that at times she felt like an imposter. She has spoken about walking down a red carpet, then going into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror and asking “Who is this?”

Sometimes people experience these feelings only in particular situations (e.g. a new job, before a presentation). For other people, they may feel crippled by their thoughts more frequently. Regardless of how often it happens, it can be very draining. While they may outwardly appear self-assured and capable, internally they are having thoughts of inadequacy and low self-confidence.

People with Imposter Syndrome may procrastinate in big tasks (because they assume they won’t succeed), or they may over prepare, seeking to cover every aspect in minute detail. Regardless of the actions that play out, the internal dialogue, anxiety and stress can result in burn out, missed opportunities, or negative impacts on relationships.

A 2007 article estimated that 70% of the US population had experienced Imposter Syndrome at some point in their lives… Wow – that’s a huge amount of people.

Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook has admitted to imposter feelings at times. In her book ‘Lean In’, she talks about going to Harvard and yet feeling like she didn’t deserve to be there. Even when she excelled there, she felt like she had fooled them and would eventually be found out.

At Engaging Potential, we’ve read a lot about what we call – ‘imposter thinking’. We’ve coached people with it, had friends with it, had it ourselves from time to time. Most of what we read and hear about this thinking pattern is negative. And yes, it can be a paralysing and negative thing.

Yet, is there any upside to Imposter Syndrome?

In a training session I was once asked what the opposite of Imposter Syndrome was – instantly I replied “Arrogance”. That got a laugh, yet I wasn’t trying to be funny! Sometimes I see arrogance as almost worse than the dreaded imposter.

Could imposter thinking actually help us focus on our abilities? If we are listening carefully to our internal dialogue, when those self-doubts creep in, it could be an opportunity to reflect, and bring self-awareness into play.

If we walked around believing we are the most fabulous, perfect, successful, intelligent person on earth, and had no self-doubt, then maybe we could be described as arrogant! And potentially we may not grow and improve.

Now before I am howled down by those who say self-confidence is good, let’s pause – I’m not encouraging people to berate themselves emotionally. All I’m saying is that a little self-reflection may be useful. Being humble and honest, rather than being over-confident and self-delusional. Reframing your inner dialogue to think realistically about your situation and turn the anxiety into proactivity and confidence.

Ariana Huffington talks about the voice in her head that at times held her back – she called this voice her ‘obnoxious roomate’. She has said “I wish someone could invent a tape recorder that we could attach to our brains to record everything that we tell ourselves.” She goes on to say that perhaps if we heard this played back, we would realise how important it is to stop negative self talk, and deal with the ‘obnoxious roomate’ with a dose of wisdom.

Well, we may not be able to record our inner thoughts, yet we can use our awareness of imposter syndrome to become conscious of unhelpful thoughts early-on in the self-dialogue.

Knowing that many people have similar feelings of being a fake, a fraud or being caught out hopefully helps us realise that it is common, and can be addressed. The first step is being conscious of what is going on inside our head. Ignoring it, or suppressing the thoughts is not the best option – let’s crash tackle this thing with some wisdom and logic.

An example…

You have a presentation to give to your peers. You start to prepare and then notice an inner voice saying “Who am I to give this presentation, to these people…they know a lot more about this than I do!”

Now, if you have a strategy to acknowledge and address this inner voice, it gives you the opportunity to pause, assure yourself, or to look for areas where you may need to do more work. The key is to hear the voice and refute/question it; rather than hear the voice, believe it, add more negative comments and spiral into a paralysing pit of self-doubt.

Step 1: Be attuned to picking up the inner voice when it first starts – notice it consciously.

Step 2: Find something simple to say internally to acknowledge the negative thought patterns. E.g. “STOP!” Or “Hang on a minute…!” Or “Whoa there!” Whatever word or phrase you use, it is simply something to act as a circuit breaker in the thought pattern.

Step 3: Outline what the REALITY is. What’s the background for the project/ job application/presentation? What is the aim of my involvement? Am I really here to save the world?

This brings our logical thinking brain into play, rather than letting our emotions run away and create some false drama.

For instance, you might say to yourself “I’ve been asked to give this talk because of my experiences on this project. The goal of the presentation is to share ideas on improvements for the future. My perspective here is valid. I don’t have to be an expert, it’s just a point of view…” And so on.

Step 4: Review strengths and acknowledge any specific gaps. Notice how I say ‘specific’. With Imposter Syndrome, we often catastrophasize – “everything is bad” – we make it bigger than it is. Being specific identifies what it IS, not what we dread or fear it to be. What are my strengths? What valuable experience do I bring to this? Where have I succeeded in the past? Is there one thing I could maybe do to make this even better? What is a gap I can work on here?

While I do not suggest people should love their imposter thinking pattern, I do suggest that being aware of this inner dialogue is an opportunity to change the narrative; identify strengths, acknowledge a weakness if there is one, and develop a plan on how to move forward. Much better than cycling on perfectionist and unrealistic expectations, and berating yourself when you don’t meet them.

Rather than being scared of your imposter thinking, embrace it as an indication to pause and choose a more productive thought pattern.

In summary,

  • Imposter Syndrome is not a clinical condition, rather a pattern of thoughts that create self-doubt.
  • Being aware of your inner dialogue is critical to being able to address negative thoughts.
  • Reframing the dialogue to a more realistic and positive version is the key to reducing the impacts of ‘imposter’ thinking.

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, facilitation

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

09 Oct

Craving constructive curiosity

“Replace judgement with curiosity” – Lynn Nottage

Outrage, judgement, aggression, arrogance…seen any of that lately?

Blame, denial, deflection…?

It seems that everywhere we look recently – news, sports, politics, social media, reality TV, business – people are expressing strong opinions about, and onto, others. Sometimes this generates hurt, ridicule, division, anger – and so the cycle repeats and repeats.

Not that there’s anything wrong with having an opinion and speaking up. It’s often ‘how’ we do it that is so destructive – if not for ourselves, often for other people. If we are aggressive, defensive, judgemental or abusive in tone, then our impact could be very negative.

Making judgements before seeking understanding – is this the new normal?

In an attempt to lighten the mood, and use a simple example…take the recent ending to The Bachelor Australia. The outrage over ‘The Bach’ choosing neither woman has been loud. Is no one curious as to the reasons he made this decision? Has no one listened to the way he spoke to the women and his rationale for his choice? From a curious outside perspective, it actually could be seen as a respectful act, presented as kindly as possible in unusual circumstances. Does it really matter that normally someone ‘wins’? What reason does anyone have to be outraged about the ending to a TV show (even a highly addictive one!)? Ah, it seems a strange world.

From reality TV to the business world. In our coaching and training we often hear people deflect, deny, or blame others for dips in performance, lost clients and workplace conflicts. Could time spent focusing defensively outwards be better spent focusing on understanding someone else’s perspective, identifying possible solutions, seeking opportunities, and applying a healthy dose of reality testing? And even better, to own what you own – looking inwards to discover your role in situations and how you might turn things around or influence for a better outcome.

So, do we want to go down the pathway of destructive negativity, or can we turn this around for more positive interactions and discussions?

An idea – let’s get constructively curious before we get combative.

When we start telling ourselves – “how dare they?”, “who do they think they are?”, “are they an idiot?”  – perhaps we can stop for 2 seconds and ask instead – “what’s another way of looking at this?” Or “how can I make a positive impact here?” Or “I wonder what has led them to say/do that?”

When our typing fingers get twitchy to scream out in capitals on social media, perhaps we can stop for 2 seconds and ask ourselves – “what are the (real) facts here?”  

Craving constructive curiosity in this combative world might just help us slow down, think about how we react, and consider the impact we are having on others. We don’t need to agree with everyone, yet perhaps we could be a little kinder, get on a little better, and recognise that it takes all sorts of characters to make this a pleasant world.

And wouldn’t it make sense to leave ‘The Bach’ and other relatively innocent people in peace and save our outrage for those who truly do major hurt and harm in the world?

And if that seems a little too fluffy for you, please minimise your outrage in the comments.

Long live constructive curiosity!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, facilitation

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

27 Jul

How are you?

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates

Chatting with a wonderful client today, we discussed the word ‘busy’. It seems that it’s a word much in use. It’s not a ‘bad’ word, nor is it necessarily a ‘good’ word. It’s just a word. A word which increasingly seems to have hidden meaning.

I’ve noticed a trend over the last few years. As a normally polite person, I tend to start client conversations with “How are you?” I do care what the response is, hoping that my clients are experiencing wellness and contentedness in their lives. If they are having a good day, I want to share their energy and enjoyment. If they have a cold, or their child is sick, I want to empathise and wish them well. If they are feeling a little low, I want to support them.

Probably nine times out of ten I get a response using the word ‘busy’. Busy is sometimes a hard one to respond to. Is busy exciting? Is busy stressful? Is busy fulfilling? Is it draining? Does being busy mean that they are experiencing the fullness of life, or does it mean they are in distress?

The definition of busy as an adjective is ‘having a great deal to do’. That sounds like daily life, and could be positive or negative.

When did ‘busy’ become so popular in response to a question about our well being? It seems to have become almost an expected response. Sometimes I detect a challenging tone that might indicate “Are you as busy as me?”; sometimes frustration “I don’t have time to answer this question!”; most of the time the tone is fairly neutral, almost like an automated response.

Do we EXPECT people to be busy now? Is this what success looks like in our modern world? Does ‘busy’ equal “I’ve made it!”? Do we sometimes say it because we’re too embarrassed to say “Well, I’m great!”? Are we worried what people might think if we are not busy? Or are we using this word as an implied cry for help in a stressful world?

Some days I am ‘busy’ – I have a great deal to do. Most of these days I am content, I feel healthy, and am grateful to have a good job. Sometimes I do feel overloaded – that usually means that I have taken on too much or agreed to unrealistic time frames – to me it’s more than ‘busy’, it’s a little stressed out and tired.

Some days I have less than a great deal to do. Most of these days I am content, I feel healthy and I am proud of the fact that occasionally I am committed to take time out to relax and recharge. This actually makes me more productive.

Many years ago a colleague I hadn’t seen for a while asked me “How are you?” I responded “Good – busy.” She laughed and said “That’s not what I asked you – I asked how you are, not how much you have to do.” This comment had a big impact. It made me realise that busy was a vague, ‘relative to what?’ word that did not convey my true self.

Personally I think I used the word ‘busy’ because somewhere along the way I had attached meaning to it – that busy equals “I have value in this world”. At times I’m sure I used it because I was stressed and didn’t know how to ask for help.

Now when people ask me “How are you?” I try to respond with a true refection of my well being. This, I believe, is what the question is designed to uncover.

An additional benefit of responding with words other than ‘busy’, is that I think it makes me different to what is fast becoming the norm – I don’t want to be the norm. I don’t want to drag people down by loading them with everything I have to do, or create competition with them to see who is the busiest. I want to have a meaningful conversation and I’m not sure ‘busy’ is a good starting point.

And remarkable as it may seem, I also am ok with not being busy at times. In my opinion (for what it’s worth!) life is not a world-wide competition to be the busiest. Sometimes I’d rather have much less than ‘a great deal to do’. Not least because that means that most times I respond to “How are you?” with “I’m feeling great, life is good.”

So how are you?

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, facilitation

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

01 Sep

The ‘self’ in leadership Part 2

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold but not bully; be thoughtful but not lazy; be humble but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humour, but without folly” – Jim Rohn

 

In Part 1 of this series, we discussed the importance of both the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ in leadership, what self-leadership is, common pitfalls, and then posed some questions to consider (below).

  1. Are you living those values and behaviours – leading by example?
  2. Are you bringing positive intent to all your interactions with others ?
  3. Are you respecting other people’s values through your actions ?

In this discussion, we introduce a very simple model to help hold oneself to account in self-leadership. We use the SELF model. It is fairly self-explanatory (no pun intended!) and is designed as a quick check list for those who are developing their self-leadership and collaboration style.

SELF Model

There are 4 core actions, and 3 core attitudes to this model.

Actions

Set and meet your goals

Having professional and personal goals is what sets many true leaders apart. Goals can provide you with clear focus, help you prioritise and motivate you toward results. Leaders achieve!

Engage positively with others

As we discussed in Part 1, positive intent and respect in your interactions is key to effective collaboration. And it must be genuine! Test yourself – “What impact have I had on this person today?” If you don’t like the answer, review your approach.

Listen to your brain

The brain is the core of the behaviours we exhibit to others. If we are stressed, tired or otherwise worried, our brain tends to use it’s vital resources keeping us alive and functioning and often doesn’t have much left in reserve to moderate toward positive behaviour. This is why in stressful circumstances we might withdraw from others or emotionally ‘explode’. We are not operating with our best logical brain in action. So listen to your brain – if you feel emotional, stressed, tired – take some time out. Exercise, sleep, relax, or at the very least  – breathe calmly – so that you can bring your best behaviour to your leadership. Don’t ignore your brain health, it’s important.

Focus on your development

News flash – your boss isn’t responsible for your development! Sure they should support you, yet ultimately you are responsible. No matter how experienced, qualified or smart you might be, there are always areas to develop. Listen and seek to understand feedback given – both positive and constructive. Be self-aware – monitor what you do well and identify what you can improve. Look for opportunities to grow professionally and personally.

Attitudes

Empathy

The ability to empathise with others is an important leadership trait. This is most challenging when we are called on to use it with people we don’t necessarily ‘like’ or in situations that we don’t fully understand. You don’t have to agree with the person, take sides or solve problems – empathy is all about taking a moment to reflect what it’s like to walk in another’s shoes. So remove judgement, bring positive intent, listen and genuinely demonstrate empathy.

Humility

Humility is all about keeping your ego in check! It’s great to be confident, wonderful to have an opinion and important to highlight your strengths. Humility is all about knowing the right time and place to do these things, and when to take a step back. This might be to allow someone else to speak, to seek another’s opinion, to recognise you don’t know the answer, to acknowledge a team effort, or to be gracious in success or defeat.

Humour

This does not mean that leaders have to be comedians! Nor should the humour be inappropriate – obviously! A positive leader understands the importance of laughter, lightheartedness and fun in human bonding. It’s not about cracking jokes, it’s about being willing to let down your guard, and show enjoyment of the lighter side of life – it’s being human.

What does your leadership ‘selfie’ look like? 🙂

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

21 Apr

The ‘self’ in leadership Part 1

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold but not bully; be thoughtful but not lazy; be humble but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humour, but without folly” – Jim Rohn

A common misunderstanding that is often raised in coaching sessions concerns the term ‘leader’. Many people believe a leader is someone who has direct reports; someone who manages or supervises others. Some interesting conversations and insights arise when we discuss the difference between ‘management’ and ‘leadership’ and the fact that you don’t have to be a manager or supervisor to demonstrate leadership.

This is the ‘self’ of leadership – what you bring to the workplace that sets you apart from others, and what behaviours you consistently demonstrate. It is how you interact with and treat others, how you go about achieving results and how you handle set backs. Notice the use of the word ‘how’ here. The ‘what’ you deliver is very important to leadership; equally as important is the ‘how’ you go about delivering results.

If for instance, you achieve targets, yet along the way you undermine others, are rude to customers, throw tantrums in your boss’ office and break policies, then you are not showing good self-leadership. On the other hand, if you deliver results and along the way support colleagues, respect customers, uphold policies and professionally discuss issues with your boss, then you likely are demonstrating good self-leadership.

So, this sounds like common sense – yes? Well, in many respects it is – most of us have learnt from childhood that we should treat others as we wish to be treated. Yet this is where we encounter the ‘knowing-doing’ gap, the concept of differing values and the positive approach of emotional intelligence.

Knowing-doing gap examples:

  • “I know that I should greet all colleagues politely, yet at times I don’t, because some of them annoy me!”
  • “I know that it’s inappropriate to yell at people in the office, yet I find managing my emotions difficult and so occasionally I do yell at people.”

So you might know what is or isn’t appropriate; you might know the theory of a particular situation (e.g. giving feedback), yet are you actually ‘doing’ it as you ‘know’?

Differing values examples:

  • “I think humour in the workplace is positive; Geoffrey takes it too far because he likes to tell rude jokes that make me feel uncomfortable.”
  • “Respect is so important to me and I would never gossip about a colleague; I hear people talking about Jenny’s divorce when she’s not here and it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
  • “If I have a problem with how we interact, I’ll tell you; it concerns me when I hear that you’ve been telling everyone else but me that you don’t like how I do things.”

We all have values that are important to us; yet what they are differs widely from person to person. And even if we have similar priority values (e.g. respect), what we expect of others in relation to these values can be very different (i.e. ‘respect’ can mean different things to different people).

These differences are ok – it’s part of being human – we are all different! We just need to look at whether we respect others’ values, where we are willing to be flexible with our values, and where/when we need courage to stand up for our values.

Emotional intelligence examples:

  • “In frustrating situations, I am able to avoid emotional outbursts, yet still discuss my feelings in an appropriate and productive way.”
  • “I am able to connect with others by seeking to understand their perspective, even if it differs to my own.”
  • “I know how to demonstrate empathy and support others.”
  • “I can raise challenging issues and provide feedback in a way that maintains relationships.”
  • “I understand that others will differ in their behaviours and values and that I can only control my own actions.”

Do you have the emotional intelligence to handle difficult situations in the workplace and to demonstrate leadership that sets you apart in a positive way?

Emotional intelligence is one of the most effective skills to demonstrate leadership – whether it be self-leadership or leading others in a team. A key ingredient to being able to develop emotional intelligence is self-awareness – being able to identify your strengths and gaps and recognise when you do and when you don’t demonstrate appropriate behaviours.

It’s not about making excuses – “that’s just me” – it’s about truly understanding your strengths and limitations. And then from there, it’s been willing and committed to consistently demonstrate strengths and work toward closing any gaps.

Your self-leadership challenge

Think about how you would like to be perceived in the workplace.

  • What values and behaviours would you like to be known for?

Now ask yourself 3 questions:

  1. Are you living those values and behaviours – leading by example?
  2. Are you bringing positive intent to all your interactions with others (regardless of whether you like them or not)?
  3. Are you respecting other people’s values through your actions (whether you have the same values or not)?

Next post we will look at a simple model to help hold ourselves accountable to self-leadership.

In the meantime – what does your leadership ‘selfie’ look like?

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

16 Feb

Feeling the Feb Fade?

Small Cute Pet Chihuahua Having A Sleep

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

Feb (as in February) Fade – not a technical term! It’s what happens when we are just over one month into the year and  one or more of the following thoughts occur:

  • “The holiday season feels like it was ages ago. I’m tired!”
  • “The year is flying by – where did January go?”
  • “Oh my goodness, I’ve fallen back into the drudgery – where did my enthusiasm go?”
  • “When’s the next public holiday?”
  • “Another year, same-same happening…yawn…”
  • “Oh yeah, New Year’s Resolutions…fail!”

‘Feb Fade’ does not happen to everyone, yet on anecdotal evidence, it is relatively common. In coaching and training sessions, we find many people who were refreshed from holidays early January and inspired for the year ahead, are slowing down and missing that motivational buzz come February. They’ve often arrived back at work to a mountain of work they’d forgotten about, tasks put off from last year, or projects being given by their boss who has just realised that the year is slipping away and there are things to achieve!

The priorities of a new year at work, the possibility that those New Year’s Resolutions have been harder to stick to than first thought, and the prospect of many weeks or months until the next holiday, can all take their toll on motivation.

While there is not a magic cure-all for Feb Fade, here are a few tips to help turn Feb Fade into Motivated March…

  • Take a pen and notebook (or mobile device) to your favourite accessible relaxation zone – it might be outside, a comfy lounge chair, or a cafe. Allow yourself 10 minutes to answer this question…“What would make this a great year?” Once you’ve done that, now ask yourself…“What do I need to do to make this happen?” It’s simple self-reflection, yet we generally don’t do it. How can we be motivated if we don’t know where we want to go/what we want to achieve?
  • Prioritise – whether work or home tasks – “What are the 5 things that need doing before the end of February?” and “What makes these tasks priorities for me?” Just taking time to identify these will often spark us out of procrastination.
  • Find room/time for exercise – your body and your brain. To motivate yourself out of Feb Fade, you MUST find the time to engage in physical and mental exercise. Find something that works for your abilities, commitments and enjoyment. Walking, doing Sudoku or a crossword, playing tennis, playing chess, going for a jog…You know what works for you better than anyone. Don’t overdo it, make sure you are checked by health professionals if that is warranted and then get started.
  • Plan something special. Like exercise, time-out is a critical and often neglected facet of our lives. Having something to look forward to often helps motivate us in other life/work areas. Plan a holiday, a short break away, a dinner party, a night out – whatever it is that you’ve been putting off because of work or other commitments!
  • Take a 5 minute break. All the latest research shows that we are least productive if we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed and drowned by all the ‘stuff’ to do. So make sure you get some fresh air, walk around the office or just get out of your chair regularly throughout the day. You’ll be amazed at how this will refresh you for greater productivity.

These ideas are not new and no doubt you would have heard them all before, we are sure! Sometimes it just takes a little reminder and gentle push into action… Only you can do something about Feb Fade… what will you do?

Here’s to Fabulous Feb!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

04 Aug

How tuned in are you? Really.

social-networking_110003873-012814-int

 

 

 

“I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” – Larry King

In your everyday work, how tuned in are you to what’s happening around you, what people are saying and how others are behaving? Most people we ask this question of would say – “I’m very aware of what’s happening around me!” Yet when we dig a little deeper, we soon find a slightly different story and most will then admit that maybe they aren’t really as tuned in as they thought (or pretended) they were!

Did you realise that you were just checking your mobile phone in that meeting? Did you see how others responded when you made that ‘joke’? Did you understand what your boss just said to you? Did you see the body language your colleague used when you popped in to their office? Did you realise you just checked your phone again while we were talking?

Modern life is busy. Actually for some it feels a bit chaotic. So we often are too tired, too busy or even (should we say it…?) self-absorbed to truly tune in to what people are saying or doing most of the time.

Yet many don’t realise  significant impact of not tuning in.

  • Others may actually think you’re rude. Do you check your phone during meetings? This is a classic example of where you might be tuning out and at the same time could be leaving people with the impression that you are rude and disrespectful. Even if you think you are still listening – here’s some big news…you’re not.
  • You may just miss out on important information. When you tune out, whether to check your phone, to think about your to-do list, or simply to day-dream, your brain is not accurately receiving all of the information around you. And sometimes that’s completely ok. Sometimes it’s not – you may miss information to help you at work, a family member’s story, or even important signals that could save your life.
  • Building and maintaining relationships just got harder. Despite our busy world, humans are still fundamentally designed to be social and make connections. In the workplace, healthy relationships can lead to better productivity, better engagement and even to better stress management. So if we are consistently not tuning in, and others notice this, we could be destroying trust, credibility, respect and ultimately damaging relationships. People want to connect more with those who show an interest in them, than with those who don’t.

So how do we develop better skills at tuning in? Well, it takes time, practice and genuine positive intent. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

  • Turn off your phone in meetings
  • Make eye contact with the person presenting/speaking with you
  • Truly focus on the words and body language others are using
  • Pause before you cut someone off in conversation
  • Ask questions – be curious! What can you learn from the conversation?
  • If your mind is wandering when it shouldn’t, take a deep breath – it does wonders to refocus you
  • Monitor how often you talk about yourself versus listening to others, or asking others questions
  • Evaluate the quality of your relationships and consider what else you can do to be more positively connected
  • Become a great observer – of people’s actions, words and even their environment (it’s amazing what you can learn about someone from the items on their work desk!)

Of course, these suggestions are based on common-sense and not particularly new concepts. They key though is being true to yourself – are you really tuning in to what’s happening around you, or are you only pretending?

Happy tuning in!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

 

01 Jul

Do you make it safe?

Safety First

“The problem is not the content of your message, but the condition of the conversation.”

Crucial Conversations Paterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler

Our brain has been wired across the ages to protect us as individuals – it looks out for threats and aims to keep us safe. That works beautifully if we are in physical danger – if there is a fire for instance. It can work a little less effectively when we are having a discussion with someone and your brain goes on high alert – this can lead to emotional outbursts, sullenness or physical reactions.

We’ve all experienced conversations where we have felt threatened or ‘unsafe’. Sometimes it is an overt verbal attack that sets us on edge and sometimes it is a subtle comment, such as a criticism of our work. Many times the feeling of being in danger comes not from words, rather from someone’s non verbal actions – such as a raised eyebrow, a sarcastic smile, a threatening stance.

As a manager and leader, if you want to get the best out of an interaction with another person, you need to consider the environment that you are creating. Do you make it safe?

Some of you may be thinking “Why do I need to make it safe when I might be correcting someone’s mistakes or poor performance?

Simply put, if you have the intent of supporting their improvement and enhancing their ability to achieve into the future, you will need to create an environment in which they can truly hear and understand your message. People are not so great at hearing things when their body and mind feels threatened – they are simply using their energy to ‘survive’ – by withdrawing, running or fighting back.

How do you then, make it safe for someone? You obviously can’t control the way their mind works or their actions. All you can do is influence through your own behaviours and words.

What would help you feel safe in a discussion, particularly one that might be classed as a ‘difficult conversation’?

Some ways to create the safe environment include:

  • Start with positive intent – what are you truly trying to achieve here and is it well intentioned? Does the outcome  you seek have benefit for all parties?
  • Plan well – do you know what outcome you are looking for? What should you say or do to achieve that outcome?
  • Determine where and when – ensure this is appropriate to the discussion
  • Frame it -provide context for the discussion and what you are trying to achieve
  • Reduce the personal – ensure this is not a discussion of accusation – for example, rather than “you did..” try “I’m concerned…
  • Allow space – seek input from the other person and allow space for them to process and understand what you are saying;
  • Breathe – remain calm, even if the other person is unsettled or emotive; if you mirror negative emotions, the situation will only deteriorate

Human interactions can seem fraught with danger. What will you do to make it safe for others and have productive discussions, even when the content is difficult?

Engage in safety!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

05 Mar

“I know all of this already…”

ID-100139665“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.” – Daniel J Boorstin

From time to time when we run a training event, a coaching discussion or a group coaching session, we will hear someone say “I know this already”, “I’ve covered it previously in my career”, “I’ve done a lot of this before” or any number of variations on this theme. As soon as we hear such statements, there are small alarm bells going off in our heads.

These alarm bells come from years of experience in learning environments – 9 times out of 10 when we hear these comments we know that this person might just be the participant who needs the content/learning the most.

Really? Yes, really. The bells are picking up on two elements of concern:

  1. There might be a hidden reason for making such a statement
  2. Their mind-set might be limiting their opportunities

Firstly, let’s look at possible reasons that people say “I know it already”. We have no doubt that people who make these comments have indeed participated in training or workshops on the topic at hand, yet they usually don’t tell us this just so we know – there’s almost always an underlying, sometimes unconscious reason for them telling us. Some possible deeper reasons might include one or more of the following.

They:

  • believe that they do know all of the detail and there is nothing more they need to know
  • truly believe they are applying these skills already
  • want to be acknowledged for their experience
  • think we should ask them to share in the session – for the group’s benefit
  • have heard it before and don’t want to sit through it again
  • have too much work on and would love to get out of the session
  • don’t like learning in a ‘classroom’ environment
  • are actually a bit insecure about their skills and don’t want to be put in a position where they may not be the expert
  • are an experienced manager/employee and  don’t want others to think they need to learn more (see also point above)
  • have had a bad experience at a previous learning event and are now wary of all trainers, facilitators and coaches

Some of the reasons above may have sounded very valid to you. So why do those alarm bells go off for us then? It’s because we are concerned that their perspective may be limiting their full potential.

Our concern comes from the following:

  • Knowing and doing are two very different things: people who say they know it already might know the theory, yet in reality they might not be putting it into practice
  • Openness to learning is a core leadership attribute: great leaders are always curious, always learning; even if they are knowledgeable, they know the benefit of refreshing their skills or hearing other people’s perspectives
  • Great leaders lead by example: attending a learning event has a secondary purpose of demonstrating to those you lead, collaborate with or manage that you see investing in development as important
  • Fear is self-limiting: fears of not getting it ‘right’ and of not being the expert can hold you back from beneficial growth and development. Successful people do not let such fears limit them – they know that facing your fears could be the best pathway to ongoing success
  • Refreshing is maintaining: if you really believe you will not learn anything new, then is there really any harm in refreshing on what you know to maintain your level of ability? Refreshing is maintaining

Happy ongoing learning!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

16 Feb

Leadership Valentine

“Better let my heart be without words than my words without heart.” – John Bunyan

Another purple heart Roz

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. We thought we’d have a bit of fun and see if there are any leadership lessons from this day that is sometimes loved and sometimes loathed across the globe.

  1. Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. Leaders are bold and confident. They know that they may not have all the right answers, yet they have confidence in their team and their own decisions. They take calculated risks and learn from successes, as well as heartache.
  2. Flowers and chocolates don’t make a relationship. Leaders know that building a great working relationship takes time – whether it’s with their team, their colleagues, their boss or customers. Bubbles and gifts are nice, yet they fade in comparison to a strong and trusting relationship with mutually beneficial goals
  3. True success means expressing gratitude every day. Leaders are thankful for the privileges they attract, the teams they work with and the customers they serve. Every day they express this gratitude through their actions and words; it’s authentic and consistent.

I’m sure there are many other comparisons you can think of, yet these are a few of our favourites.

Hope you had a Happy Valentine’s day!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

19 Jan

Start with 5 minutes

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This time of year it is popular to run planning days. These day/s sessions are designed to refocus us on the business after the end-of-year break and to prioritise actions for the new year. They are important discussions whether you are a business of one or a business of thousands; whether you are a start-up or an established organisation. The discussions may look different, depending on your size, industry, culture etc, yet all businesses should conduct some form of planning. And just as important is the ongoing review throughout the year of any actions from these discussions.

If these planning sessions are so important, why is it that many of you probably rolled your eyes or groaned when you read the first paragraph?

It’s because for many of us, the word ‘planning’ conjures images of boring monologues by senior executives, having to analyse data we are not interested in, or feeling frustrated to waste our time coming up with creative ideas that will never be implemented. In the same category of eye-rolling words you may also find ‘strategy’, ‘tactics’, ‘objectives’ and ‘critical success factors’. The outputs these words indicate are not bad – in fact, most companies would struggle to be effective without having the detail these words refer to. Yet these words for some reason do not inspire, energise or motivate many of us. And for some, they actually cause brain shut-down, leading to a sudden and extreme interest in doing anything BUT thinking about the detail behind these words!

There is no easy remedy to such feelings towards ‘planning’ and ‘strategy’ words. To progress in business, you will need to learn about and embrace such words and the actions and outcomes behind them. The purpose of this article is not to give you the run-down on the definitions and processes of business planning. The purpose here is to break it down to a simple starting point that removes eye-rolling, brain-shutdown words and kick-starts you to begin to think about the year ahead. And it comes down to allocating 5 minutes in your day. Starting with 5 minutes can get the ball rolling. Surely you can find 5 minutes?

So give yourself 5 minutes, find a place to sit where you will be undisturbed by others, grab a pen and paper to record your thoughts (we find the old-fashioned, organic way helps keep focus and connection to the work, yet if you must, you can use a digital device!) and complete the  following, inserting the word/s most relevant to you:

  • What I want for <myself/the business/my team> this year is…

Write down whatever comes to mind – you can cluster, prioritise and develop actions later. This is just the first 5 minutes to help you focus your mind on what you want from the year. Of course, what you do with the list after this exercise is incredibly important (topics for another day!) yet for many of us this first step is the hardest – the starting.

Just start with 5 minutes. And not an eye-rolling word in sight!

Happy new year!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

 

11 Dec

End-of-year reflection

“May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility” – Mary Anne Radmacher

With just over a week to go before the Christmas holidays, things might be looking a little hectic around your place of work. We are amazed at how ‘busy’ people are at this time of year – finishing projects, writing reports, tying up loose ends. Sometimes this can be the most stressful time of the year in the office – either we are racing to finish tasks before the holidays, or we are deciding what we can postpone until the New Year. Sometimes all this ‘busy-ness’ is not overly productive.

So a few ideas on finishing the year in a good frame of mind…

1. Prioritise your remaining time. Let’s face it, there’s not much time before you go on leave. If you think you will get everything done on your ‘to do’ list before then, you are kidding yourself and creating more stress.

  • Determine what 3 things are essential for you to do before you go on leave – What will help me achieve my outstanding objectives?; What will provide the best benefit to the business?; What will help my customers/clients the most?
  • Plan these 3 actions (above) into your calendar – How much time will it take to complete each?; When will I do these things?

2. Stop procrastinating! At this time of year it can be easy to get caught up in office festivities or drawn in by the gang who are very happy to wind down and complete minimal work. So although you need to be realistic about what you can achieve, it’s equally important to make sure you do achieve something!

  • Book a meeting room for 2 hours and complete one of your action items away from distractions
  • Come in to the office 1/2 hour early to get a good start before it gets noisy and distracting
  • Stick to your priority list and hold yourself accountable – you’ll feel so much better if you achieve something in this remaining time

3. Take time to reflect. Whether it’s during your performance review with your boss, over coffee with a colleague or just quiet reflection time, it’s important to think about your achievements this year. So often we don’t congratulate ourselves for a job well done and yet it’s very healthy to celebrate true success.

  • What are you most proud of achieving this year?
  • What did you learn along the way?
  • How did you grow as a person/employee/leader this year?

4. Decide on 1 thing you will do to enjoy your break and return to work refreshed in the New Year. Life balance is important – take time out to recharge and do something you love.

  • What will you do to recharge over the holiday season?

Happy end-of-year and happy holidays!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

03 Oct

Balance and leadership

 “…being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t be considered truly successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.” –  Zig Ziglar

When coaching new and experienced managers, we have noticed a trend towards ‘burn-out’ and ‘over-load’ being discussed as serious issues in the workplace. Many people being coached are  feeling ‘overloaded’, with some also expressing concern for their direct reports. It is concerning to hear these managers talk about the long hours they work, the weekends lost to emails and reports and the subsequent strain experienced by their families.

Sadly, there is no easy answer to this problem. Businesses are being pushed to reduce costs and raise productivity, and the resulting restructures, budget cuts and redundancies means that people often find themselves with more work and less resources. To cope, employees are working longer, and often experiencing feelings of resentment, frustration and even anger for doing so. Many find that they strive to do a good job, yet are left thinking that they are never quite doing anything well, rather doing lots of things poorly. For the high achievers, this can be a major issue!

So if there is no easy answer, where do we start?

We must remind businesses and employees of the benefits of balance. In his book ‘The four principles of values-based leadership”,  Harry Kraemer  talks about the importance of balance from several perspectives. One such perspective is ‘life balance’ and “…the importance of diverse activities and experiences that keep you fresh, engaged and motivated.” Remember, if we focus only on work, our brains are not stretched or refreshed. How can we expect to be innovative, productive and positive if our brains are not working properly? How can we expect to solve problems and overcome challenges if we are feeling burnt-out? How can we as managers engage positively to motivate our teams if we are feeling resentful of the work piling up?

As leaders, we must be disciplined to get the balance right. It’s no good for us to tell our people to prioritise or leave work on time if we are not practicing what we preach. We must lead by example. It will take self-awareness, discipline and courage, yet what is the alternative? Some people seem to think that if they complain about the workload long enough or if they talk about the hours they work loud enough, that someone will make it all OK. This will never happen and we so often see managers spiraling on this until they spin  out of control – they might yell at their staff, quit their job, or worse still suffer mental exhaustion and breakdown.

When we talk about balance, it’s not just about leaving work on time or turning off the laptop over the weekend. It’s about replacing these behaviours with balanced behaviours; it’s about exploring  opportunities and experiences outside of the workplace. This might include reconnecting with something you enjoyed when you were younger, experiencing a loved activity with your family, or even stepping outside of your comfort zone with a new course or hobby.

If you do regain some balance, there is no doubt you will start to see benefits – feeling refreshed, focusing better at work, maintaining and growing positive relationships – the list goes on. [An aside: To be honest, when many feel overloaded at work, it is commonly exacerbated by procrastination – such as talking about how busy they are, spending hours writing to do lists (don’t get us wrong, to do lists are critical, yet they can be overdone!) or worrying about what there is to do. This post is not about time management, yet learning about some time management disciplines will help many to get the balance back.)

We all know the saying “Life is short.” well, it is. Imagine yourself at 80 – go on, visualise it! Can you see the wrinkles, the grey hair…? Now imagine yourself looking back at your life. Think not just about work, think about your LIFE. Will you be happy at 80 if you can say “Yep, I worked myself raggard and had no time for anything else…”?

  • What do you want to be most proud of?
  • What do you want to have experienced?
  • What do you want to be able to reflect on at 80?

Now, once you’ve thought those things through with your 80-year old self, consider the following:

  • What are 3 – 5 things you can do to take back control now and get a better life balance?
  • How will you hold yourself accountable when you neglect or forget the above actions?
  • Who can help you achieve these actions?
  • When are you going to start?

When you are determining actions, consider those that you can apply at work and even more importantly at home. At work you might need to reprioritise your work, talk to your boss about deadlines or aim to finish on time 3 days of the week. On the personal side, you might want to commit to learning a new language, play football once a week, take up meditation or join a book club. Whatever the actions are that work for you – the key is to be disciplined, monitor your commitment and reassess in a month or so. Once you are able to gain better balance, consider how you might help your team members do the same. But until you start with yourself and lead by example, you and your team will be left spinning on the ‘work harder and longer’ merry-go-round.

Here’s to a balanced life!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd