21 Apr

The ‘self’ in leadership Part 1

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold but not bully; be thoughtful but not lazy; be humble but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humour, but without folly” – Jim Rohn

A common misunderstanding that is often raised in coaching sessions concerns the term ‘leader’. Many people believe a leader is someone who has direct reports; someone who manages or supervises others. Some interesting conversations and insights arise when we discuss the difference between ‘management’ and ‘leadership’ and the fact that you don’t have to be a manager or supervisor to demonstrate leadership.

This is the ‘self’ of leadership – what you bring to the workplace that sets you apart from others, and what behaviours you consistently demonstrate. It is how you interact with and treat others, how you go about achieving results and how you handle set backs. Notice the use of the word ‘how’ here. The ‘what’ you deliver is very important to leadership; equally as important is the ‘how’ you go about delivering results.

If for instance, you achieve targets, yet along the way you undermine others, are rude to customers, throw tantrums in your boss’ office and break policies, then you are not showing good self-leadership. On the other hand, if you deliver results and along the way support colleagues, respect customers, uphold policies and professionally discuss issues with your boss, then you likely are demonstrating good self-leadership.

So, this sounds like common sense – yes? Well, in many respects it is – most of us have learnt from childhood that we should treat others as we wish to be treated. Yet this is where we encounter the ‘knowing-doing’ gap, the concept of differing values and the positive approach of emotional intelligence.

Knowing-doing gap examples:

  • “I know that I should greet all colleagues politely, yet at times I don’t, because some of them annoy me!”
  • “I know that it’s inappropriate to yell at people in the office, yet I find managing my emotions difficult and so occasionally I do yell at people.”

So you might know what is or isn’t appropriate; you might know the theory of a particular situation (e.g. giving feedback), yet are you actually ‘doing’ it as you ‘know’?

Differing values examples:

  • “I think humour in the workplace is positive; Geoffrey takes it too far because he likes to tell rude jokes that make me feel uncomfortable.”
  • “Respect is so important to me and I would never gossip about a colleague; I hear people talking about Jenny’s divorce when she’s not here and it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
  • “If I have a problem with how we interact, I’ll tell you; it concerns me when I hear that you’ve been telling everyone else but me that you don’t like how I do things.”

We all have values that are important to us; yet what they are differs widely from person to person. And even if we have similar priority values (e.g. respect), what we expect of others in relation to these values can be very different (i.e. ‘respect’ can mean different things to different people).

These differences are ok – it’s part of being human – we are all different! We just need to look at whether we respect others’ values, where we are willing to be flexible with our values, and where/when we need courage to stand up for our values.

Emotional intelligence examples:

  • “In frustrating situations, I am able to avoid emotional outbursts, yet still discuss my feelings in an appropriate and productive way.”
  • “I am able to connect with others by seeking to understand their perspective, even if it differs to my own.”
  • “I know how to demonstrate empathy and support others.”
  • “I can raise challenging issues and provide feedback in a way that maintains relationships.”
  • “I understand that others will differ in their behaviours and values and that I can only control my own actions.”

Do you have the emotional intelligence to handle difficult situations in the workplace and to demonstrate leadership that sets you apart in a positive way?

Emotional intelligence is one of the most effective skills to demonstrate leadership – whether it be self-leadership or leading others in a team. A key ingredient to being able to develop emotional intelligence is self-awareness – being able to identify your strengths and gaps and recognise when you do and when you don’t demonstrate appropriate behaviours.

It’s not about making excuses – “that’s just me” – it’s about truly understanding your strengths and limitations. And then from there, it’s been willing and committed to consistently demonstrate strengths and work toward closing any gaps.

Your self-leadership challenge

Think about how you would like to be perceived in the workplace.

  • What values and behaviours would you like to be known for?

Now ask yourself 3 questions:

  1. Are you living those values and behaviours – leading by example?
  2. Are you bringing positive intent to all your interactions with others (regardless of whether you like them or not)?
  3. Are you respecting other people’s values through your actions (whether you have the same values or not)?

Next post we will look at a simple model to help hold ourselves accountable to self-leadership.

In the meantime – what does your leadership ‘selfie’ look like?

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

05 Mar

“I know all of this already…”

ID-100139665“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.” – Daniel J Boorstin

From time to time when we run a training event, a coaching discussion or a group coaching session, we will hear someone say “I know this already”, “I’ve covered it previously in my career”, “I’ve done a lot of this before” or any number of variations on this theme. As soon as we hear such statements, there are small alarm bells going off in our heads.

These alarm bells come from years of experience in learning environments – 9 times out of 10 when we hear these comments we know that this person might just be the participant who needs the content/learning the most.

Really? Yes, really. The bells are picking up on two elements of concern:

  1. There might be a hidden reason for making such a statement
  2. Their mind-set might be limiting their opportunities

Firstly, let’s look at possible reasons that people say “I know it already”. We have no doubt that people who make these comments have indeed participated in training or workshops on the topic at hand, yet they usually don’t tell us this just so we know – there’s almost always an underlying, sometimes unconscious reason for them telling us. Some possible deeper reasons might include one or more of the following.

They:

  • believe that they do know all of the detail and there is nothing more they need to know
  • truly believe they are applying these skills already
  • want to be acknowledged for their experience
  • think we should ask them to share in the session – for the group’s benefit
  • have heard it before and don’t want to sit through it again
  • have too much work on and would love to get out of the session
  • don’t like learning in a ‘classroom’ environment
  • are actually a bit insecure about their skills and don’t want to be put in a position where they may not be the expert
  • are an experienced manager/employee and  don’t want others to think they need to learn more (see also point above)
  • have had a bad experience at a previous learning event and are now wary of all trainers, facilitators and coaches

Some of the reasons above may have sounded very valid to you. So why do those alarm bells go off for us then? It’s because we are concerned that their perspective may be limiting their full potential.

Our concern comes from the following:

  • Knowing and doing are two very different things: people who say they know it already might know the theory, yet in reality they might not be putting it into practice
  • Openness to learning is a core leadership attribute: great leaders are always curious, always learning; even if they are knowledgeable, they know the benefit of refreshing their skills or hearing other people’s perspectives
  • Great leaders lead by example: attending a learning event has a secondary purpose of demonstrating to those you lead, collaborate with or manage that you see investing in development as important
  • Fear is self-limiting: fears of not getting it ‘right’ and of not being the expert can hold you back from beneficial growth and development. Successful people do not let such fears limit them – they know that facing your fears could be the best pathway to ongoing success
  • Refreshing is maintaining: if you really believe you will not learn anything new, then is there really any harm in refreshing on what you know to maintain your level of ability? Refreshing is maintaining

Happy ongoing learning!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd

24 Oct

3 questions to round off the year

“My future depends mostly upon myself.” – Paul Robeson

As we again start thinking about dusting off the plastic tree and try to remember if we even sent last year’s Christmas cards, it’s a great time to reflect on the year that was and the year that will be. This reflection is a springboard for considering our professional goals, strengths to build on and areas to develop. Yes, it is only October, however why wait until November or even December?

In the lead up to the year-end, we are usually so frantic finishing up work projects and planning family gatherings, that we often don’t feel we have time to breathe, let alone think about our professional goals and development. We might do a last-minute rush through of our end-year review documents, but do we really give our achievements and future plans the time they deserve?

Yes, it’s a busy time of year and yes you are just waiting for the Christmas break and will worry about it all next year… However, now is probably the best time to consider this often neglected part of our working lives. It is a time to reflect on achievements from the current year, set goals for the next year and plan how to make the most of future opportunities.

And really, it’s as simple as starting with these three questions:

  • What did I love most about my job this year?
  • Which of my achievements made the biggest difference (to me, my company, my customers)?
  • What do I look forward to achieving next year and how can I give myself the best chance of meeting these goals?

Of course, there are other aspects to consider for a full development plan, yet this is a positive starting point that won’t take a lot of time and is often more meaningful and interesting to complete than a ‘tick-the-box’ performance review document (especially one rushed through the night before you meet with your manager)!

Start with these questions, celebrate, and here’s to a successful 2013!

engagingPOTENTIAL: training, team development, coaching

Specialising in working with managers to develop extraordinary teams!

© Engaging Potential Pty Ltd